I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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