i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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