watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
