I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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