im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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