Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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