tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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