I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
me + whiskey = a bad person
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
