After last night, I could never be a politician.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
