You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
