two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
