Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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