Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
