i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
