wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
