i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
