I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
home. puking in laundry basket.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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