With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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