Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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