I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
