Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
