Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize