Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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