Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
MIDGETS
????
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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