Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
