Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You took a bar mat shot.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Randomize
