$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?