i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.