there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?