VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
