Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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