Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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