What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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