Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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