just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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