Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize