Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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