Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
