I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize