he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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