Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
