Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
