Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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