Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
