He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
