He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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