quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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