Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
