Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
