just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
