At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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