You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
