Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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