the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
