ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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